Welcome to Curious Business

Every Friday, I post a small insight into running Curio City and/or Blue Hills Editorial Services. My most recent posts are directly below. You can also start with the first post, or use the subject labels to the right to home in on particular topics. Feel free to comment on anything that interests you.
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Friday, June 17, 2011

The Purge

Constant Contact’s price doubles when you reach 500 email addresses. My newsletter subscriber list recently passed 400 and was growing by 10-15 per month, while my open rate had dipped to around 20%. It was time to purge.



Email addresses are fragile. People change ISPs, or they lose their jobs, or they sign up for Yahoo and Gmail addresses that they never use. Permanence is rare. When we switched over to BELD.net this year Anne and I opted to pay Earthlink $3 per month to preserve the addresses we’ve had since 1987. But even those will die by the end of this year; we aren’t going to pay that $3 forever.

Constant Contact’s process for cleaning up one’s list is hidden – after all, bloated email lists are lucrative for them. I actually had to email their support department to find the online instructions. The process is pretty convoluted and the results don’t quite match the instructions. Without numbing you with too much detail: You duplicate your main mailing list, then remove everyone who has opened an email in the past 90 days (the past two issues, for me). The remaining “unconfirmed” addresses -- 286 in my case – get an opt-in newsletter. If they click the link therein, they go back on the list; if they don’t, they’re out. Forty-one of those 286 people opened the email and 22 of them clicked the link. In other words, 41 of the 286 addresses that I culled turned out to be valid and 22 were interested subscribers.

In the end I got rid of 245 garbage addresses. I won’t have to worry about hitting that 500-address price increase again for years now.

With the remaining 158 names known to be good, my newsletter open rate ought to approach 100%, right? You’d think so. But only 60 people looked at the Fathers Day free shipping coupon that I sent out this week. Two emails (both sent to friends…Joy, what happened to your hotmail address?) bounced as non-existent. Fathers Day is a poor benchmark because my average customer is too old to care, and my newsletter’s subject line (“3 Days Only: Free Shipping for Fathers Day”) wasn’t cute or clever. But a 38% open rate is disappointing after such a thorough cleanup. The issue did bring in one nice big sale, though, so there’s that.

Incidentally, a Constant Contact telephone support guy told me that what I did was very advanced stuff for their user base. Fewer than 1% of their customers ever try to purge their mailing lists. It’s no wonder I couldn’t find the instructions in their FAQ; the question isn’t asked frequently.
Anyway: If you didn’t get a newsletter this week, please use the Newsletter Signup box on the upper right side of this page to re-join my list.

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I just figured out how to add a Facebook “Like” button to the bottom of my website. I’ve been stuck at 120-123 fans for months now. Maybe this will get that growing again. Just this week I had my first customer answer “How did you find us?” with “Saw your Facebook page.”

I also figured out how to work around Blogger's broken image upload function by simply editing the HTML code. I posted a question on their Help blog last week and never got an answer. So I should be able to amuse you with pictures again.

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Mochahost finally closed my old account on Sunday, six days after I put in the order. No mention of a refund. But that’s OK: the $40 that they’re keeping will buy them a lot of bad publicity. I won’t hesitate to tell the world (via the Googlebot) that Mocha was the worst company I’ve encountered in almost six years in business.

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Overall Fathers Day sales were poor. The week ending 6/11 was pretty good at 122% of LY. But this week, which should have brought the big rush, is running a paltry 69% of LY. Last year’s numbers were inflated by one big sale of Mini Briefcases – not Fathers Day business at all. With a day and a half left, this week could still deliver the $500 that it’s short. But it ain’t likely.

I'll be back in two weeks with June's numbers, assuming nothing interesting happens before then.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Please Kill Me Now

The server was down when I tried to log into Mochahost to delete my files and request account closure last Monday. Disgusted, amused, and (above all) vindicated, I gave up trying to nuke the old Curio City and just burrowed down through their FAQs until I could find and file their account closure request form. Two days later I got a reply:

“Dear Client,

“We are sorry that you are not satisfied with our service.

“Please give us a chance to improve, and provide you with a better service.

“I am going to escalate this issue to one of our senior managers for further review and feedback. We will get back to you with further information and hopefully a better solution to this issue ASAP.

“If you are still not happy with the result, you can still proceed with your cancellation, and refund based on our terms and conditions.

“We will get back to you as soon as the request is investigated by one of our managers.”

Oh, holy hell. I’m in Support limbo again! I replied that I already have a better solution, so please get cracking. My email bounced: Undeliverable, mailbox full. I have received three subsequent emails from three different Mocha employees with variations on “I am sending your account cancellation request for processing. You will be notified as soon as the hosting package in question has been deleted,” along with a big block of policy text that boils down to “and we are keeping your money, nyah nyah nyah!”

Fine. I expected no less from you. Keep my $36. Just make the pain go away.

(Cute cat picture goes here. It looks like Blogger's latest update broke image insertions)

I really like finding my store reliably awake and perky at its new Gator home every morning. I wish I could say that higher sales ensued, but alas: June is being a tease. Volume has ranged between three and eight sales a day this week, which is pretty good. But those sales were almost all $20 or less, which is pretty bad. Frustrating! (And then an hour after I wrote that a nice fat $180 cap sale saved the week.)

I’m picking away at a column about the impending economic meltdown and collapse of Western civilization, but I think I’ll peg that one for now. I only run my naïve political rants when I don’t have any actual business news. Maybe I’ll spew it out next week. Right now I need to crank out a Fathers Day newsletter.

Friday, May 27, 2011

The Great Migration Continues


For those who just tuned in: Mochahost is the worst web host ever. Googlebot, I invoke thee!

The new web server that Mocha spent four days moving me into died on Monday morning. I swiftly sprang into action. Just as swiftly, they declared it fixed…but when I went to verify, it was gone entirely. I lost another whole day of business. Repeated emails and Live Chat sessions brought no response until 7 pm, when I finally got:

“The issue was solved.

“I apologize for any inconveniences.

“Have a nice day/evening.”


News flash: You guys need to work on your communication skills. At least I confirmed my longstanding suspicion that Live Chat is just a deflector shield. And I got a new personal tagline out of it: “Have a nice day-slash-evening!”

So a fifth down day from Mocha finally forced my hand. On Wednesday HostGator ran a one-day 50% off sale, and I snapped it up. I committed to two years of hosting (with a free private SSL certificate) for $167.50, which is a little less than I would have paid to Mocha and GoDaddy for the same services over two years. I just finished the migration half an hour ago and reset my domain nameservers to point to the HostGator version of my site. At the moment Curio City exists in a Schroedinger’s Cat state, simultaneously open on the new host and closed on the old one. That should resolve within 48 hours.

The only downside that I can see is that HostGator’s free cert doesn’t provide an animated, interactive seal like GoDaddy does. That little boost to perceived security was a very nice perk of the $30 annual cost. OTOH, reinstalling a third-party cert every year was always a big pain in the ass that required cooperation from Mocha’s support people; it will be very nice to have that automated. And, of course, I expect a noticeable boost to both speed and reliability.

Superficially, May’s sales numbers don’t look like Mocha drove away any business. But if you subtract out one $850 sale at the beginning of the month the top line would’ve ended up $338 behind LY. The five days of business that Mocha stole (plus one lost to the moving process) would have been worth $484 (based on the corresponding days LY). So after those two adjustments, “normalized” May wound up about flat with LY.

Of course, that’s just blowing smoke. The official Quickbooks numbers look like this:

May:


Total income: +22.4%
Total COGS: +30.6%
Payroll: +89.3%
Net Income (Profit): -133.1%


Year to Date:

Total income: -10.2%
Total COGS: -16.3%
Payroll: -2.9%
Net Income (Profit): -2.7%

Paying HostGator for two years hosting up front blew the botton line away – my monthly Net Income was down by $136 because of $167 in “rent”. But that will smooth itself out over time, especially if I can persuade Mocha to refund my unused months (as if!).

June’s targets are a little scary. But who knows? Maybe having a better web host will make a difference.

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